Interview Bias Is Real—Here’s What You Can Do About It
Career tips to overcome bias in interviews and client meetings—learn how to spot unspoken assumptions, name the elephant in the room, and own your narrative with confidence.
You felt it—the moment bias stepped into the conversation. Not spoken. Not acknowledged. But unmistakably there.
A flicker. A pause. A question that doesn’t get asked. And suddenly, you’re not being evaluated on your skills—you’re being sized up for something else entirely.
This week’s thought letter thinks through what we should do when the real question is the one they’re not asking…
Served weekly with❤️,
Nirit
This article was initially published on Forbes»»
There are moments in a career conversation—whether it’s a job interview, a pitch for freelance work, or a conversation with a potential client—where everything seems to be going fine. Until something shifts.
Maybe it’s a flicker in the interviewer’s eyes when you walk into the room or turn your camera on. Maybe it’s a slight hesitation when you mention your background. Or a question you expected, but it never comes—because legally, it can’t.
And yet, you know.
You know that despite your portfolio, credentials, or stellar track record, something unspoken has entered the conversation. The elephant in the room.
It could be your age—too old, too young.
Your background—an accent, a name, a story that doesn’t match expectations.
Or your identity—gender, parenthood, or anything else that makes you “not what they pictured.”
Whatever it is, you can feel the silent questions:
Will she be able to keep up with a young team?
Will he understand our culture?
Will she be too distracted with seven kids at home?
These questions often can’t be asked. But they’re still answered—in the privacy of the interviewer’s mind. And that’s precisely why they’re dangerous.
If You Don’t Name the Elephant in the Room, Someone Else Will
We’re entering an era where authenticity is not only accepted—it’s expected.
Particularly for Gen Z, but increasingly across the workforce, being real has become a professional advantage. According to Stanford research, Gen Z employees expect transparency and are drawn to people whose words and actions align. That push for transparency is transforming more than just workplace culture—it’s reshaping how people want to interview, pitch, collaborate, and be perceived. Being guarded no longer feels like strength. Being real does.
When Bias Isn’t Unconscious
Most conversations about bias in hiring focus on the structural fixes. As Harvard Business School outlines, we train recruiters to avoid unconscious bias, diversify panels, and define roles more inclusively. These are critical, but they assume the bias is accidental—something to be corrected through awareness.
Bias can be unconscious—but sometimes it's not. And even when it is, the effect is the same: assumptions get made in silence.
What happens when the person on the other side of the table is asking themselves a very conscious question—one they know they can’t say out loud?
That’s when the real danger begins. Because if they can’t ask the question, they’ll answer it themselves. And they’ll answer it wrong.
Behavioral science shows that we don’t need to change people’s beliefs to change their behavior. As Siri Chilazi, a senior researcher at the Women and Public Policy Program at Harvard Kennedy School and co-author of Make Work Fair, put it in a recent episode of The Future of Less Work:
“The much more productive thing to do instead would be actually to skip the training and instead focus on changing the process itself.”
Instead of asking people to unlearn their bias, Siri’s work focuses on designing systems that reduce the opportunity for bias to show up at all. That might mean standardizing interview questions so that every candidate is asked the same ones in the same order. Or it might mean evaluating responses one question at a time across all candidates, rather than building a subjective impression of each individual. These small shifts can make a big difference—turning hiring from a judgment call into a fair comparison.
But even the smartest systems can’t account for every assumption, every hesitation, every flicker in the conversation. And until those systems are the norm, individuals still have to navigate what’s left unsaid. That’s why when you're the one sitting across the table—and you sense the question they’re not asking—you still need to be ready to answer it. Not because it's your responsibility to fix the system. But because it’s your best chance to be seen for who you really are.
That’s why I recommend what might feel like a bold move: bring the elephant into the conversation. Not defensively. Not apologetically. Confidently, directly, and with intent.
Let’s say you sense age is in play. You’re in your 50s, applying for a consulting gig in a tech startup led by 30-somethings. You could say:
“Some people look at my background and wonder if someone with my experience would be flexible enough for an environment like this. Here’s what I’ve learned working with early-stage teams—and why I’ve found I’m often the one who brings the calm and clarity when things move fast.”
Or let’s say you’re a mother of seven. You’re being considered for a high-responsibility role, and you can feel the hesitation in the room:
“I know you might be wondering how someone with seven children manages a demanding role. It’s a fair question. Here’s how I’ve built systems that allow me to be fully present and deeply accountable in my work. In fact, it’s my parenting experience that has sharpened my leadership and crisis-management skills.”
Or maybe you’re pitching a project and realize the client assumed you’d be local—until they heard your accent or saw your LinkedIn profile:
“Sometimes people are surprised to learn I’m not based in the same region. I’ve found that once we’re aligned on expectations and communication styles, distance becomes irrelevant—and I bring an outside perspective that often helps challenge assumptions.”
This isn’t about defending your identity. It’s about owning your story. It’s about answering the question they’re not allowed to ask—on your terms.
The unspoken is where bias hides. Your voice is what brings it into the light.
We often talk about inclusion as the responsibility of the hiring manager or organization. And yes, they have work to do. But when you’re the one sitting in the room, waiting for a decision to be made, your power lies in your ability to name what they can’t.
Not everyone will be comfortable doing this. It requires emotional intelligence, timing, and a calm kind of courage. But being nice won’t get you what you want. And the alternative is to be silently disqualified for the wrong reason—one you never got the chance to address.
So the next time you feel the elephant walk into the room, don’t ignore it. Invite it in. Name it. And then answer the question the way only you can.
Because when you do, you’re not just shifting the outcome of that conversation—you’re changing the conversation itself.
Your Turn:
What’s the most unspoken bias you’ve faced—and how did you handle it?
Served weekly with ❤️,
Nirit